








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
873 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1480 | 44% |
| Smokes | 630 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 454 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 777 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $307,826 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 274 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sppmorris | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | theasianjasper | 47% | 55 |
| #3 | revenge killer | 44% | 70 |
| #4 | Chou Tzuyu | 43% | 28 |
| #5 | zipf | 39% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | bomboclaat gaming | 39% | 72 |
| #7 | Rivers Cuomo | 36% | 42 |
| #8 | Bob | 33% | 9 |
| #9 | bruhnugget | 25% | 12 |
| #10 | topcheese044 | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bomboclaat gaming | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | revenge killer | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | zipf | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | theasianjasper | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Rivers Cuomo | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bomboclaat gaming | 358 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #2 | theasianjasper | 208 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | Rivers Cuomo | 197 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | zipf | 138 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Chou Tzuyu | 114 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theasianjasper | +1.19 | 56 | 80 |
| #2 | picklepower24 | +1.02 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | bruhnugget | +0.36 | 29 | 43 |
| #4 | sppmorris | +0.24 | 49 | 50 |
| #5 | Chou Tzuyu | +0.17 | 42 | 81 |





