








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,313 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5013 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5031 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3245 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3024 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $959,296 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sppmorris | 52% | 86 |
| #2 | Bob | 52% | 134 |
| #3 | bomboclaat gaming | 48% | 255 |
| #4 | picklepower24 | 47% | 55 |
| #5 | zipf | 47% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | picklepower24 | 47% | 55 |
| #5 | zipf | 47% | 131 |
| #6 | revenge killer | 46% | 191 |
| #7 | bruhnugget | 45% | 49 |
| #8 | Rivers Cuomo | 44% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob | 33 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | bomboclaat gaming | 22 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | zipf | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | picklepower24 | 10 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | revenge killer | 6 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bomboclaat gaming | 1217 | 0.23 | 35 min |
| #2 | Rivers Cuomo | 535 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #3 | picklepower24 | 302 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #4 | zipf | 299 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | sppmorris | 174 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob | +1.09 | 69 | 27 |
| #2 | theasianjasper | +0.96 | 55 | 79 |
| #3 | picklepower24 | +0.34 | 62 | 69 |
| #4 | sppmorris | +0.28 | 49 | 52 |
| #5 | revenge killer | +0.05 | 55 | 53 |





