








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2116 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1156 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1289 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1279 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 281 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $832,144 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chou Tzuyu | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | sppmorris | 52% | 71 |
| #3 | theasianjasper | 46% | 191 |
| #4 | bomboclaat gaming | 45% | 224 |
| #5 | Rivers Cuomo | 45% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Rivers Cuomo | 45% | 110 |
| #6 | picklepower24 | 44% | 70 |
| #7 | zipf | 43% | 95 |
| #8 | Bob | 43% | 65 |
| #9 | bruhnugget | 37% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob | 20 | 0.0143 |
| #2 | bomboclaat gaming | 17 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | picklepower24 | 12 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | theasianjasper | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | zipf | 6 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bomboclaat gaming | 1043 | 0.23 | 31 min |
| #2 | theasianjasper | 694 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #3 | Rivers Cuomo | 512 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #4 | picklepower24 | 382 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #5 | zipf | 201 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theasianjasper | +1.12 | 53 | 81 |
| #2 | picklepower24 | +1.05 | 74 | 67 |
| #3 | Chou Tzuyu | +0.85 | 51 | 81 |
| #4 | Bob | +0.74 | 69 | 24 |
| #5 | bruhnugget | +0.07 | 32 | 42 |





