








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,667 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 839 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1045 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 842 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 941 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $559,666 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo | 46% | 134 |
| #2 | Serafin | 39% | 44 |
| #3 | Lars | 35% | 48 |
| #4 | julo | 33% | 27 |
| #5 | pay pander | 28% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Serafin | 39% | 44 |
| #3 | Lars | 35% | 48 |
| #4 | julo | 33% | 27 |
| #5 | pay pander | 28% | 32 |
| #6 | Flosul | 18% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo | 53 | 0.0206 |
| #2 | pay pander | 7 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | julo | 5 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | Lars | 3 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo | 98 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | Lars | 22 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | julo | 15 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Flosul | 13 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Serafin | 10 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo | +3.35 | 86 | 45 |
| #2 | Serafin | +0.10 | 45 | 22 |
| #3 | Silas | -0.59 | 65 | 52 |
| #4 | Lars | -0.74 | 51 | 50 |
| #5 | julo | -4.28 | 18 | 16 |





