








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 868 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 213 matches | ||
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




164 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6870 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2047 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1839 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 4030 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4146 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,391,917 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silas | 46% | 134 |
| #2 | julo | 40% | 164 |
| #3 | Lars | 40% | 234 |
| #4 | Serafin | 38% | 102 |
| #5 | Flosul | 37% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | julo | 40% | 164 |
| #3 | Lars | 40% | 234 |
| #4 | Serafin | 38% | 102 |
| #5 | Flosul | 37% | 41 |
| #6 | pay pander | 36% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pay pander | 33 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Lars | 19 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Silas | 19 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | julo | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Flosul | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lars | 154 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #2 | Silas | 134 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | julo | 81 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Flosul | 23 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | pay pander | 21 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo | +3.12 | 86 | 41 |
| #2 | Lars | -0.08 | 49 | 42 |
| #3 | Serafin | -0.48 | 39 | 23 |
| #4 | Silas | -0.65 | 67 | 53 |
| #5 | julo | -3.89 | 14 | 17 |





