








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
291 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 171 | 20% |
| Smokes | 200 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 257 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 214 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $238,702 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | silas | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Drill_In_Wall | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Serafin | 44% | 25 |
| #4 | Flo | 37% | 41 |
| #5 | Lars | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Lars | 36% | 25 |
| #6 | pay pander | 30% | 30 |
| #7 | Uncreativ5 | 29% | 7 |
| #8 | julo | 28% | 25 |
| #9 | Silas | 18% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo | 18 | 0.0213 |
| #2 | Drill_In_Wall | 15 | 0.0588 |
| #3 | pay pander | 11 | 0.0186 |
| #4 | julo | 4 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | Silas | 4 | 0.0113 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo | 28 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #2 | Silas | 26 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Uncreativ5 | 15 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | Lars | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | silas | 11 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drill_In_Wall | +5.51 | 86 | 46 |
| #2 | Flo | +3.80 | 86 | 48 |
| #3 | silas | +3.59 | 47 | 33 |
| #4 | Serafin | +2.48 | 51 | 23 |
| #5 | Lars | +0.96 | 53 | 42 |





