








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 793 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3344 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,685 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2538 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2053 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2088 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2006 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,941,777 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 393 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FrischerFrisch | 52% | 63 |
| #2 | THE OATS | 50% | 68 |
| #3 | CrackGyver | 47% | 102 |
| #4 | Gottkönig | 44% | 120 |
| #5 | Taubenkaiser | 44% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | THE OATS | 50% | 68 |
| #3 | CrackGyver | 47% | 102 |
| #4 | Gottkönig | 44% | 120 |
| #5 | Taubenkaiser | 44% | 75 |
| #6 | Ryu Dragon | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gottkönig | 22 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | Taubenkaiser | 14 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | CrackGyver | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | FrischerFrisch | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | THE OATS | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gottkönig | 167 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | Taubenkaiser | 84 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | CrackGyver | 69 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | FrischerFrisch | 58 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | THE OATS | 56 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THE OATS | +6.24 | 82 | 48 |
| #2 | FrischerFrisch | +0.72 | 31 | 49 |
| #3 | Lenoski | +0.67 | 74 | 48 |
| #4 | CrackGyver | +0.25 | 50 | 48 |
| #5 | Taubenkaiser | -0.96 | 44 | 50 |





