








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Wingman | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3429 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1818 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3656 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3976 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1714 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,530,187 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 583 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THE OATS | 55% | 116 |
| #2 | Lenoski | 52% | 63 |
| #3 | CrackGyver | 47% | 314 |
| #4 | Ryu Dragon | 44% | 226 |
| #5 | Gottkönig | 44% | 287 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gottkönig | 29 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Taubenkaiser | 21 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | CrackGyver | 19 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Ryu Dragon | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | THE OATS | 9 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gottkönig | 337 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | CrackGyver | 180 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #3 | Taubenkaiser | 152 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ryu Dragon | 125 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lenoski | 124 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THE OATS | +5.94 | 84 | 44 |
| #2 | CrackGyver | +0.49 | 50 | 47 |
| #3 | FrischerFrisch | +0.39 | 32 | 46 |
| #4 | Lenoski | -0.62 | 63 | 43 |
| #5 | Taubenkaiser | -0.78 | 50 | 50 |





