








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1051 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 421 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 366 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




105 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6560 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,218 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3968 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3153 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 8017 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 7080 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,840,973 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 935 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrackGyver | 328 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| #2 | FrischerFrisch | 318 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | Taubenkaiser | 252 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | Lenoski | 223 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ryu Dragon | 166 | 0.02 | 4 min |





