








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,305 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 957 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1224 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1414 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 710 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $799,899 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FrischerFrisch | 55% | 116 |
| #2 | Ryu Dragon | 52% | 64 |
| #3 | Lenoski | 50% | 68 |
| #4 | CrackGyver | 50% | 125 |
| #5 | Gottkönig | 44% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gottkönig | 20 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Taubenkaiser | 11 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | FrischerFrisch | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | CrackGyver | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Lenoski | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gottkönig | 204 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | Lenoski | 174 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | FrischerFrisch | 80 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | CrackGyver | 74 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Taubenkaiser | 70 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THE OATS | +5.44 | 83 | 48 |
| #2 | CrackGyver | +0.39 | 50 | 47 |
| #3 | FrischerFrisch | -0.24 | 33 | 42 |
| #4 | Taubenkaiser | -1.84 | 47 | 52 |
| #5 | Gottkönig | -2.18 | 41 | 53 |





