








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 292 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,567 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2011 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3355 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1776 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2425 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $998,400 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naek | 51% | 41 |
| #2 | Pachi Clash.gg | 49% | 156 |
| #3 | Its Ya Boy | 49% | 115 |
| #4 | phungus | 49% | 68 |
| #5 | Vuster | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | phungus | 49% | 68 |
| #5 | Vuster | 46% | 48 |
| #6 | trn | 46% | 68 |
| #7 | MAGICTURTLE | 46% | 112 |
| #8 | Wesley | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pachi Clash.gg | 56 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | MAGICTURTLE | 24 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | naek | 22 | 0.0266 |
| #4 | Vuster | 20 | 0.0194 |
| #5 | Its Ya Boy | 18 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Its Ya Boy | 426 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Pachi Clash.gg | 228 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | MAGICTURTLE | 228 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Vuster | 217 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | trn | 212 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAGICTURTLE | +3.96 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | naek | +1.55 | 64 | 47 |
| #3 | trn | +0.89 | 71 | 60 |
| #4 | Vuster | +0.13 | 58 | 33 |
| #5 | elephant | -0.10 | 67 | 52 |





