








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1279 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1110 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1742 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 447 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $492,579 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | phungus | 44% | 50 |
| #7 | Wesley | 42% | 131 |
| #8 | Pachi Clash.gg | 41% | 157 |
| #9 | Sadat Hashbrown | 36% | 22 |
| #10 | MAGICTURTLE | 32% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pachi Clash.gg | 94 | 0.0284 |
| #2 | naek | 48 | 0.0289 |
| #3 | Wesley | 47 | 0.0167 |
| #4 | MAGICTURTLE | 20 | 0.0169 |
| #5 | Its Ya Boy | 13 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pachi Clash.gg | 252 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | Its Ya Boy | 216 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Wesley | 195 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | naek | 163 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | MAGICTURTLE | 131 | 0.11 | 3 min |





