








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 356 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 553 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




209 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2442 | 14% |
| Smokes | 6498 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1990 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 6175 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,885,751 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 523 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trn | 57% | 83 |
| #2 | phungus | 51% | 92 |
| #3 | elephant | 49% | 156 |
| #4 | Its Ya Boy | 47% | 170 |
| #5 | MAGICTURTLE | 44% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wesley | 73 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | naek | 63 | 0.0234 |
| #3 | Vuster | 55 | 0.0167 |
| #4 | Its Ya Boy | 36 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | elephant | 35 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Its Ya Boy | 641 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | Vuster | 458 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | MAGICTURTLE | 385 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | Wesley | 329 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | naek | 303 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAGICTURTLE | +4.04 | 84 | 54 |
| #2 | ducky man | +2.78 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | Wesley | +0.83 | 66 | 44 |
| #4 | trn | +0.70 | 68 | 55 |
| #5 | Sadat Hashbrown | +0.31 | 74 | 53 |





