








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1390 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1511 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1167 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1134 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $586,315 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naek | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | Pachi Clash.gg | 57% | 83 |
| #3 | MAGICTURTLE | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | phungus | 55% | 75 |
| #5 | Its Ya Boy | 49% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | MAGICTURTLE | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | phungus | 55% | 75 |
| #5 | Its Ya Boy | 49% | 92 |
| #6 | Vuster | 48% | 21 |
| #7 | elephant | 46% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pachi Clash.gg | 30 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | Its Ya Boy | 21 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | naek | 14 | 0.0163 |
| #4 | elephant | 12 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | phungus | 5 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Its Ya Boy | 344 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | phungus | 170 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | elephant | 117 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | naek | 117 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pachi Clash.gg | 114 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naek | +4.20 | 71 | 51 |
| #2 | MAGICTURTLE | +3.19 | 86 | 64 |
| #3 | Vuster | +1.94 | 74 | 44 |
| #4 | trn | +0.88 | 70 | 57 |
| #5 | Its Ya Boy | +0.45 | 61 | 71 |





