








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1167 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,502 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1396 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1970 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1901 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1235 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $480,335 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trn | 55% | 75 |
| #2 | naek | 53% | 62 |
| #3 | Pachi Clash.gg | 51% | 92 |
| #4 | elephant | 49% | 68 |
| #5 | Its Ya Boy | 47% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Vuster | 44% | 50 |
| #7 | Wesley | 43% | 14 |
| #8 | Sadat Hashbrown | 36% | 11 |
| #9 | MAGICTURTLE | 35% | 17 |
| #10 | Fiddle | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pachi Clash.gg | 29 | 0.0151 |
| #2 | Its Ya Boy | 28 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | naek | 27 | 0.0211 |
| #4 | Vuster | 23 | 0.0227 |
| #5 | elephant | 12 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Its Ya Boy | 483 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | Vuster | 214 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | trn | 177 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | naek | 166 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Pachi Clash.gg | 135 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAGICTURTLE | +4.64 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | naek | +3.80 | 73 | 51 |
| #3 | Vuster | +1.96 | 77 | 36 |
| #4 | Sadat Hashbrown | +1.95 | 72 | 68 |
| #5 | trn | +1.55 | 71 | 57 |





