








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 344 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3355 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,040 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4661 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4779 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2468 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3132 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $744,299 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAGICTURTLE | 49% | 73 |
| #2 | trn | 49% | 92 |
| #3 | elephant | 49% | 115 |
| #4 | naek | 48% | 52 |
| #5 | Pachi Clash.gg | 47% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | naek | 48% | 52 |
| #5 | Pachi Clash.gg | 47% | 170 |
| #6 | Vuster | 47% | 60 |
| #7 | phungus | 47% | 131 |
| #8 | Wesley | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pachi Clash.gg | 42 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | naek | 23 | 0.0208 |
| #3 | Vuster | 21 | 0.0170 |
| #4 | phungus | 20 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | elephant | 16 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phungus | 308 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | trn | 236 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Pachi Clash.gg | 229 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Vuster | 200 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | elephant | 196 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAGICTURTLE | +4.35 | 85 | 56 |
| #2 | naek | +2.78 | 67 | 49 |
| #3 | Vuster | +1.40 | 74 | 43 |
| #4 | trn | +0.88 | 68 | 60 |
| #5 | elephant | -0.05 | 63 | 52 |





