








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1613 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 406 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3702 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5631 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4054 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3807 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4276 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,053,533 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 535 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 30sekRipe | 54% | 46 |
| #2 | KovaArska | 52% | 103 |
| #3 | kikkeli | 49% | 35 |
| #4 | Nukku-Pasi | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | joe | 43% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | joe | 43% | 83 |
| #6 | rafal | 41% | 41 |
| #7 | kosunenb | 39% | 31 |
| #8 | valtzu | 36% | 33 |
| #9 | Röökiboss | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KovaArska | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | kosunenb | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | joe | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | kikkeli | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | 30sekRipe | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KovaArska | 231 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | joe | 168 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | rafal | 120 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Röökiboss | 113 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | 30sekRipe | 112 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe | +6.37 | 90 | 75 |
| #2 | kosunenb | +1.89 | 71 | 69 |
| #3 | valtzu | +0.66 | 48 | 61 |
| #4 | 30sekRipe | -0.16 | 57 | 68 |
| #5 | Dullerturtle | -0.17 | 53 | 67 |





