








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
396 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 322 | 22% |
| Smokes | 291 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 417 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 419 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $203,816 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SalmonellaSami | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | гυтҡυιа | 100% | 4 |
| #3 | 30sekRipe | 83% | 6 |
| #4 | Samppa | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | oMISTAJa | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | kosunenb | 17% | 6 |
| #14 | kace | 17% | 12 |
| #15 | rafal | 13% | 16 |
| #16 | jelloeh | 0% | 3 |
| #17 | Small M | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KovaArska | 4 | 0.0143 |
| #2 | joe | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | kikkeli | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | kosunenb | 1 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dullerturtle | 116 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | joe | 70 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | kikkeli | 61 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | rafal | 54 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | oMISTAJa | 51 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe | +6.84 | 89 | 78 |
| #2 | oMISTAJa | +3.06 | 59 | 77 |
| #3 | гυтҡυιа | +0.90 | 75 | 68 |
| #4 | Hovikuski | +0.73 | 68 | 55 |
| #5 | valtzu | +0.51 | 45 | 65 |





