








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1635 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1680 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1864 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1610 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $506,586 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hawt | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | ScaR | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | CrocWithCrocs | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | dOb | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | S.Owl | 41% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hawt | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | ScaR | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | CrocWithCrocs | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | dOb | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | S.Owl | 41% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrocWithCrocs | 7 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | S.Owl | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | dOb | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | ScaR | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | hawt | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScaR | 121 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | CrocWithCrocs | 109 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | S.Owl | 98 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | dOb | 85 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | hawt | 33 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dOb | +6.19 | 93 | 64 |
| #2 | ScaR | +2.68 | 56 | 77 |
| #3 | CrocWithCrocs | +2.30 | 70 | 71 |
| #4 | hawt | +2.23 | 55 | 58 |
| #5 | ♛Omen♛ | +0.01 | 66 | 50 |





