








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1806 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 644 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 251 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 112 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




156 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13899 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15460 | 40% |
| Smokes | 8045 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 11945 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2839 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,909,031 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3687 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chig | 58% | 105 |
| #2 | ScaR | 56% | 273 |
| #3 | CrocWithCrocs | 56% | 194 |
| #4 | pHATe | 56% | 100 |
| #5 | wEEkliE | 55% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | hawt | 55% | 109 |
| #7 | bioFREAK | 51% | 84 |
| #8 | xay. | 50% | 201 |
| #9 | David | 45% | 117 |
| #10 | S.Owl | 44% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrocWithCrocs | 43 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | S.Owl | 31 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | ScaR | 27 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | xay. | 18 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | David | 16 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrocWithCrocs | 1095 | 0.27 | 29 min |
| #2 | ScaR | 951 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #3 | pHATe | 587 | 0.30 | 18 min |
| #4 | xay. | 436 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | S.Owl | 416 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrocWithCrocs | +3.23 | 71 | 73 |
| #2 | dOb | +2.56 | 86 | 63 |
| #3 | ScaR | +0.87 | 49 | 76 |
| #4 | pHATe | +0.63 | 32 | 88 |
| #5 | Chig | +0.36 | 60 | 47 |





