








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 612 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 423 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,153 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10089 | 42% |
| Smokes | 7221 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3609 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3234 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $850,833 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 388 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bioFREAK | 71% | 52 |
| #2 | hawt | 65% | 37 |
| #3 | dOb | 61% | 36 |
| #4 | ScaR | 60% | 207 |
| #5 | CrocWithCrocs | 59% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScaR | 18 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | CrocWithCrocs | 11 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | pHATe | 9 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | dOb | 8 | 0.0107 |
| #5 | bioFREAK | 6 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScaR | 643 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | CrocWithCrocs | 417 | 0.32 | 12 min |
| #3 | pHATe | 377 | 0.30 | 11 min |
| #4 | Branden | 206 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #5 | David | 165 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrocWithCrocs | +3.84 | 66 | 76 |
| #2 | ZaiCoom | +3.45 | 82 | 56 |
| #3 | stafoo | +2.95 | 58 | 47 |
| #4 | ScaR | +2.61 | 52 | 77 |
| #5 | dOb | +2.13 | 87 | 66 |





