








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 594 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 479 matches | ||
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8441 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,404 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5912 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6928 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 9355 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 6209 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,871,247 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 724 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Filthy | 71% | 52 |
| #2 | pHATe | 64% | 235 |
| #3 | Summanis | 63% | 70 |
| #4 | CrocWithCrocs | 62% | 230 |
| #5 | ScaR | 62% | 344 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrocWithCrocs | 36 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | ScaR | 34 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | pHATe | 24 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | ⚡ | 11 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | wEEkliE | 10 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pHATe | 1518 | 0.33 | 46 min |
| #2 | CrocWithCrocs | 1461 | 0.31 | 40 min |
| #3 | ScaR | 1103 | 0.16 | 30 min |
| #4 | David | 340 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #5 | dOb | 324 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrocWithCrocs | +3.51 | 63 | 70 |
| #2 | Summanis | +2.02 | 73 | 40 |
| #3 | dOb | +1.91 | 83 | 58 |
| #4 | pHATe | +1.37 | 29 | 88 |
| #5 | ScaR | +1.16 | 46 | 70 |





