








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 767 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2027 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2740 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2944 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2762 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,145,221 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fallen | 74% | 354 |
| #2 | kplax | 74% | 347 |
| #3 | jamflow | 74% | 378 |
| #4 | FiftaR | 74% | 328 |
| #5 | Joe | 71% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fallen | 74% | 354 |
| #2 | kplax | 74% | 347 |
| #3 | jamflow | 74% | 378 |
| #4 | FiftaR | 74% | 328 |
| #5 | Joe | 71% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fallen | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | kplax | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | FiftaR | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | jamflow | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Joe | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kplax | 2087 | 0.32 | 67 min |
| #2 | fallen | 599 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | FiftaR | 543 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #4 | jamflow | 488 | 0.07 | 16 min |
| #5 | Joe | 99 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jamflow | +2.90 | 83 | 73 |
| #2 | FiftaR | +2.46 | 72 | 77 |
| #3 | kplax | +1.67 | 67 | 88 |
| #4 | coley | +0.93 | 79 | 64 |
| #5 | Joe | -0.24 | 69 | 66 |





