








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 351 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 299 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11743 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8435 | 25% |
| Smokes | 8748 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8541 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 8484 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,574,864 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coley | 74% | 378 |
| #2 | FiftaR | 73% | 1016 |
| #3 | fallen | 71% | 921 |
| #4 | kplax | 71% | 1031 |
| #5 | Joe | 68% | 320 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coley | 74% | 378 |
| #2 | FiftaR | 73% | 1016 |
| #3 | fallen | 71% | 921 |
| #4 | kplax | 71% | 1031 |
| #5 | Joe | 68% | 320 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fallen | 24 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | coley | 16 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | FiftaR | 13 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Joe | 13 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | kplax | 11 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kplax | 6185 | 0.31 | 205 min |
| #2 | fallen | 1599 | 0.09 | 36 min |
| #3 | FiftaR | 1535 | 0.08 | 48 min |
| #4 | coley | 508 | 0.07 | 15 min |
| #5 | Joe | 502 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FiftaR | +3.28 | 74 | 76 |
| #2 | jamflow | +3.03 | 83 | 72 |
| #3 | kplax | +1.81 | 70 | 88 |
| #4 | coley | +0.94 | 79 | 64 |
| #5 | Joe | -0.26 | 73 | 66 |





