








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 284 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 242 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 145 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6405 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5810 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 9255 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 8558 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,562,338 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 446 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coley | 74% | 354 |
| #2 | FiftaR | 72% | 822 |
| #3 | jamflow | 71% | 921 |
| #4 | kplax | 71% | 856 |
| #5 | Joe | 69% | 292 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coley | 74% | 354 |
| #2 | FiftaR | 72% | 822 |
| #3 | jamflow | 71% | 921 |
| #4 | kplax | 71% | 856 |
| #5 | Joe | 69% | 292 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coley | 13 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Joe | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | kplax | 11 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | FiftaR | 11 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | jamflow | 4 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kplax | 5193 | 0.32 | 171 min |
| #2 | FiftaR | 1276 | 0.08 | 39 min |
| #3 | jamflow | 1155 | 0.07 | 38 min |
| #4 | Joe | 469 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #5 | coley | 467 | 0.07 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FiftaR | +3.02 | 73 | 76 |
| #2 | jamflow | +3.00 | 83 | 73 |
| #3 | kplax | +1.77 | 70 | 89 |
| #4 | coley | +1.08 | 79 | 64 |
| #5 | Joe | -0.23 | 73 | 66 |





