








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1487 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 313 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11045 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7802 | 19% |
| Smokes | 12234 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 10166 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 9933 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,053,624 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coley | 74% | 328 |
| #2 | jamflow | 73% | 1016 |
| #3 | kplax | 73% | 910 |
| #4 | fallen | 72% | 822 |
| #5 | Joe | 70% | 269 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coley | 74% | 328 |
| #2 | jamflow | 73% | 1016 |
| #3 | kplax | 73% | 910 |
| #4 | fallen | 72% | 822 |
| #5 | Joe | 70% | 269 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fallen | 17 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | coley | 13 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | kplax | 12 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Joe | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | jamflow | 7 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kplax | 5473 | 0.32 | 180 min |
| #2 | fallen | 1423 | 0.09 | 32 min |
| #3 | jamflow | 1235 | 0.06 | 39 min |
| #4 | coley | 443 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #5 | Joe | 438 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FiftaR | +3.29 | 74 | 76 |
| #2 | jamflow | +2.92 | 83 | 72 |
| #3 | kplax | +1.76 | 71 | 88 |
| #4 | coley | +0.77 | 79 | 64 |
| #5 | Joe | -0.26 | 73 | 65 |





