








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2103 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2841 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3122 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2839 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $803,976 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coley | 71% | 62 |
| #2 | Noname | 70% | 269 |
| #3 | fallen | 69% | 292 |
| #4 | jamflow | 68% | 320 |
| #5 | kplax | 68% | 292 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coley | 71% | 62 |
| #2 | Noname | 70% | 269 |
| #3 | fallen | 69% | 292 |
| #4 | jamflow | 68% | 320 |
| #5 | kplax | 68% | 292 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fallen | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Noname | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | kplax | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | coley | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | jamflow | 2 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kplax | 1710 | 0.31 | 57 min |
| #2 | fallen | 473 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | Noname | 411 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #4 | jamflow | 363 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #5 | coley | 82 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | +3.12 | 74 | 76 |
| #2 | jamflow | +2.96 | 85 | 72 |
| #3 | coley | +1.98 | 78 | 62 |
| #4 | kplax | +1.63 | 71 | 88 |
| #5 | Joe | -0.09 | 73 | 65 |





