








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1009 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8610 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10038 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5140 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 9587 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 10381 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,545,631 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1734 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Baron | Reaper | 50% | 68 |
| #4 | XAntohaX UA <3 | 50% | 103 |
| #5 | Deadmeat | 46% | 392 |
| #6 | @PughyDude | 46% | 50 |
| #7 | CeltiC | 44% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beowulf878 | 1330 | 0.20 | 32 min |
| #2 | Deadmeat | 684 | 0.08 | 21 min |
| #3 | Baron | Reaper | 425 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #4 | XAntohaX UA <3 | 253 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | CeltiC | 205 | 0.11 | 5 min |





