








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 477 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5499 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8718 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6241 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6595 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4475 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,098,767 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 910 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rick Grimes | 50% | 68 |
| #2 | Delinx | 49% | 87 |
| #3 | XAntohaX UA <3 | 46% | 54 |
| #4 | @PughyDude | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | Beowulf878 | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deadmeat | 536 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #2 | Delinx | 496 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #3 | Rick Grimes | 228 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | CeltiC | 155 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Beowulf878 | 137 | 0.18 | 3 min |





