








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 739 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 386 matches | ||
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 13 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 278 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8493 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,169 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9049 | 25% |
| Smokes | 8648 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 9599 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 8873 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $10,397,947 of utility $360 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 432 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Severely Autistic | 47% | 277 |
| #2 | Rick Grimes | 46% | 392 |
| #3 | GamerMorse | 45% | 117 |
| #4 | XAntohaX UA <3 | 45% | 223 |
| #5 | Beowulf878 | 43% | 410 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beowulf878 | 1658 | 0.20 | 43 min |
| #2 | Baron | Reaper | 1637 | 0.32 | 32 min |
| #3 | Rick Grimes | 1239 | 0.15 | 36 min |
| #4 | Severely Autistic | 777 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #5 | XAntohaX UA <3 | 566 | 0.12 | 13 min |





