








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 720 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 143 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2136 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2405 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3262 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2944 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,081,460 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 671 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sinister | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | -venny- | 71% | 52 |
| #3 | Alex Ovechkin | 71% | 51 |
| #4 | Orange Juice | 68% | 87 |
| #5 | YS | 64% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Orange Juice | 68% | 87 |
| #5 | YS | 64% | 67 |
| #6 | CANT AIM | 63% | 64 |
| #7 | SUPREMEJUICE | 57% | 23 |
| #8 | Sun Tzu | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orange Juice | 26 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | YS | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Sinister | 7 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | SUPREMEJUICE | 6 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | -venny- | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orange Juice | 299 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | Alex Ovechkin | 296 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #3 | -venny- | 228 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | YS | 226 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | CANT AIM | 178 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orange Juice | +3.80 | 96 | 55 |
| #2 | Sinister | +2.73 | 87 | 44 |
| #3 | YS | +2.23 | 89 | 59 |
| #4 | Sun Tzu | +1.65 | 90 | 54 |
| #5 | Alex Ovechkin | +1.61 | 81 | 61 |





