








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 467 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 257 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4075 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,487 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3984 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3505 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1411 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3587 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $720,276 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 487 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stikup | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | Dingus | 64% | 67 |
| #3 | baconatorfan98 | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | SUPREMEJUICE | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | Orange Juice | 57% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orange Juice | 13 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | -venny- | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | jarvas | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | ✪Hubby | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | stikup | 3 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -venny- | 732 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #2 | ✪Hubby | 587 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #3 | Orange Juice | 201 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | jarvas | 194 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | SUPREMEJUICE | 190 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | modz | +3.50 | 87 | 42 |
| #2 | ✪Hubby | +2.73 | 93 | 67 |
| #3 | Orange Juice | +1.97 | 96 | 56 |
| #4 | YS | +1.49 | 85 | 59 |
| #5 | jarvas | +0.33 | 81 | 63 |





