








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 169 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,574 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3455 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3099 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1570 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2450 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $624,666 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dingus | 71% | 52 |
| #2 | jarvas | 64% | 45 |
| #3 | Sinister | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | baconatorfan98 | 59% | 39 |
| #5 | modz | 57% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orange Juice | 27 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | YS | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Sinister | 8 | 0.0162 |
| #4 | SUPREMEJUICE | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | modz | 4 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YS | 546 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | Orange Juice | 320 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | ✪Hubby | 265 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #4 | SUPREMEJUICE | 184 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dingus | 156 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sinister | +4.75 | 92 | 45 |
| #2 | modz | +3.99 | 82 | 42 |
| #3 | Orange Juice | +1.99 | 96 | 58 |
| #4 | ✪Hubby | +1.69 | 90 | 69 |
| #5 | YS | +1.35 | 84 | 62 |





