








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 646 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 280 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4271 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,074 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2421 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2917 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2279 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2457 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,227,709 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 676 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hokage p | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | Dingus | 63% | 64 |
| #3 | jarvas | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | Orange Juice | 61% | 46 |
| #5 | SUPREMEJUICE | 58% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ✪Hubby | 56% | 36 |
| #7 | -venny- | 54% | 70 |
| #8 | Alex Ovechkin | 54% | 39 |
| #9 | Late | 48% | 33 |
| #10 | YS | 48% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orange Juice | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | YS | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | -venny- | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | jarvas | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Dingus | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YS | 376 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | -venny- | 326 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | ✪Hubby | 210 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #4 | Alex Ovechkin | 208 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #5 | Dingus | 202 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Late | +2.37 | 93 | 56 |
| #2 | ✪Hubby | +1.98 | 92 | 68 |
| #3 | Orange Juice | +1.80 | 97 | 55 |
| #4 | SUPREMEJUICE | +1.13 | 71 | 74 |
| #5 | YS | +1.13 | 87 | 61 |





