








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 391 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1672 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1764 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1906 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1454 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1662 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $194,284 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | petro ☦ | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | flaw | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | BRK1N | 75% | 12 |
| #4 | Dingus | 71% | 51 |
| #5 | Sinister | 70% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | BRK1N | 75% | 12 |
| #4 | Dingus | 71% | 51 |
| #5 | Sinister | 70% | 20 |
| #6 | -venny- | 56% | 9 |
| #7 | CANT AIM | 54% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sinister | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Dingus | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | CANT AIM | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | petro ☦ | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dingus | 161 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | CANT AIM | 97 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sinister | 72 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | BRK1N | 70 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | petro ☦ | 63 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | petro ☦ | +2.87 | 91 | 71 |
| #2 | CANT AIM | +1.72 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | Alex Ovechkin | +1.22 | 76 | 61 |
| #4 | Sinister | +0.77 | 76 | 53 |
| #5 | Dingus | +0.65 | 63 | 59 |





