








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 364 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Renown | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2229 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3008 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3628 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2726 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2831 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,270,028 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MageekPanda | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | Krueger | 51% | 172 |
| #3 | Mantis | 49% | 87 |
| #4 | dr gaff | 49% | 201 |
| #5 | XistEnCe^ | 47% | 239 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | XistEnCe^ | 47% | 239 |
| #6 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | 46% | 156 |
| #7 | m0rr0w | 41% | 82 |
| #8 | Helpless | 40% | 55 |
| #9 | Patrick | 36% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XistEnCe^ | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | dr gaff | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Krueger | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | MageekPanda | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XistEnCe^ | 796 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #2 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | 426 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | Krueger | 414 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #4 | dr gaff | 402 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #5 | m0rr0w | 270 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr gaff | +2.40 | 65 | 70 |
| #2 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | +1.68 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | Krueger | +0.97 | 66 | 71 |
| #4 | XistEnCe^ | +0.15 | 54 | 69 |
| #5 | MageekPanda | -0.23 | 54 | 66 |





