








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3348 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3399 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4237 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3357 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,084,094 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy Derank | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | MaWi | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | dr gaff | 51% | 198 |
| #4 | Krueger | 50% | 150 |
| #5 | FlyySoHigh^ | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | mode push | 43% | 28 |
| #12 | s0gnekongen | 41% | 82 |
| #13 | M4GNU513 | 40% | 20 |
| #14 | MageekPanda | 39% | 31 |
| #15 | Mantis | 36% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | dr gaff | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | XistEnCe^ | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Krueger | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | MageekPanda | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XistEnCe^ | 503 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | dr gaff | 366 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | 288 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Krueger | 285 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | mode push | 172 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy Derank | +3.76 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | dr gaff | +2.19 | 64 | 72 |
| #3 | FlyySoHigh^ | +0.86 | 78 | 70 |
| #4 | Krueger | +0.83 | 68 | 69 |
| #5 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | +0.58 | 75 | 68 |





