








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 642 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 308 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Renown | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5202 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3832 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4164 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3277 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $699,008 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MageekPanda | 54% | 65 |
| #2 | Krueger | 51% | 223 |
| #3 | dr gaff | 49% | 263 |
| #4 | XistEnCe^ | 47% | 334 |
| #5 | s0gnekongen | 46% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | s0gnekongen | 46% | 156 |
| #6 | Helpless | 45% | 55 |
| #7 | Mantis | 44% | 115 |
| #8 | m0rr0w | 44% | 118 |
| #9 | Patrick | 44% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr gaff | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | XistEnCe^ | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Krueger | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | s0gnekongen | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Patrick | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XistEnCe^ | 988 | 0.14 | 29 min |
| #2 | dr gaff | 494 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #3 | Krueger | 475 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #4 | m0rr0w | 367 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #5 | s0gnekongen | 307 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr gaff | +1.94 | 61 | 71 |
| #2 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | +0.81 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | Krueger | +0.70 | 65 | 70 |
| #4 | MageekPanda | +0.51 | 55 | 67 |
| #5 | XistEnCe^ | +0.01 | 50 | 69 |





