








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 918 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 341 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Renown | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4137 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,141 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3570 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3178 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3759 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3634 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,212,568 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MageekPanda | 54% | 79 |
| #2 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | 51% | 223 |
| #3 | s0gnekongen | 51% | 172 |
| #4 | m0rr0w | 50% | 150 |
| #5 | dr gaff | 50% | 318 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | dr gaff | 50% | 318 |
| #6 | Helpless | 47% | 79 |
| #7 | Mantis | 47% | 124 |
| #8 | XistEnCe^ | 47% | 337 |
| #9 | Patrick | 43% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr gaff | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | XistEnCe^ | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | m0rr0w | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Patrick | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XistEnCe^ | 1122 | 0.16 | 34 min |
| #2 | dr gaff | 635 | 0.09 | 21 min |
| #3 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | 603 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #4 | m0rr0w | 417 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #5 | s0gnekongen | 287 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr gaff | +1.98 | 63 | 73 |
| #2 | Krueger | +0.81 | 66 | 69 |
| #3 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | +0.21 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | XistEnCe^ | -0.04 | 50 | 70 |
| #5 | MageekPanda | -0.28 | 50 | 60 |





