








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 939 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 408 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Renown | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3543 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5422 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4474 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4802 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,768,850 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaWi | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | m0rr0w | 51% | 198 |
| #3 | Mantis | 50% | 117 |
| #4 | MageekPanda | 50% | 88 |
| #5 | Krueger | 50% | 318 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | s0gnekongen | 49% | 201 |
| #8 | XistEnCe^ | 47% | 382 |
| #9 | Helpless | 46% | 81 |
| #10 | BECK | 42% | 26 |
| #11 | Patrick | 41% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | XistEnCe^ | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Krueger | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | s0gnekongen | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | MageekPanda | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XistEnCe^ | 1246 | 0.15 | 37 min |
| #2 | Krueger | 699 | 0.10 | 21 min |
| #3 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | 689 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #4 | m0rr0w | 613 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #5 | s0gnekongen | 347 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr gaff | +2.11 | 62 | 72 |
| #2 | Krueger | +0.73 | 66 | 70 |
| #3 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | +0.62 | 73 | 68 |
| #4 | XistEnCe^ | -0.32 | 50 | 69 |
| #5 | m0rr0w | -0.49 | 64 | 72 |





