








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Renown | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1390 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1471 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1734 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1001 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1272 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,061,261 of utility $237 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AxioN | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | MageekPanda | 52% | 31 |
| #3 | dr gaff | 50% | 117 |
| #4 | s0gnekongen | 49% | 87 |
| #5 | Krueger | 47% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | 44% | 115 |
| #7 | XistEnCe^ | 42% | 146 |
| #8 | m0rr0w | 36% | 59 |
| #9 | Helpless | 35% | 31 |
| #10 | Patrick | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr gaff | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Krueger | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | XistEnCe^ | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Patrick | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XistEnCe^ | 525 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #2 | Krueger | 308 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | 308 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | dr gaff | 246 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | m0rr0w | 186 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr gaff | +1.92 | 64 | 71 |
| #2 | MageekPanda | +1.12 | 63 | 66 |
| #3 | Krueger | +0.96 | 64 | 69 |
| #4 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | +0.62 | 73 | 70 |
| #5 | AxioN | +0.43 | 51 | 74 |





