








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 708 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3010 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2408 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2741 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3130 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,279,696 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1709 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | dry | 50% | 30 |
| #9 | ruki | 50% | 106 |
| #10 | g1n | 49% | 77 |
| #11 | Zorrahh | 47% | 49 |
| #12 | lilpop | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hyena | 446 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #2 | ruki | 423 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | g1n | 242 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | lunar | 133 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Zorrahh | 121 | 0.13 | 3 min |





