








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,628 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1272 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1086 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 758 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 512 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $83,477 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Le Crashtan | 48% | 40 |
| #2 | Ninshu | 40% | 57 |
| #3 | Guts | 40% | 25 |
| #4 | gyetus | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | geedis | 38% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Guts | 40% | 25 |
| #4 | gyetus | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | geedis | 38% | 52 |
| #6 | henry | 33% | 42 |
| #7 | @tbctbctbc | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guts | 11 | 0.0221 |
| #2 | Le Crashtan | 8 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | Ninshu | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | gyetus | 3 | 0.0120 |
| #5 | geedis | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Le Crashtan | 155 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | geedis | 154 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ninshu | 79 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Guts | 53 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | gyetus | 39 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geedis | +3.92 | 83 | 71 |
| #2 | gyetus | +2.35 | 83 | 69 |
| #3 | LintyBlanket | +1.38 | 61 | 75 |
| #4 | Ninshu | -1.06 | 49 | 57 |
| #5 | Le Crashtan | -2.14 | 47 | 59 |





