








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,729 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1286 | 34% |
| Smokes | 746 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1067 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 630 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $324,969 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ Jazzy Jess | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | HuntW1ck | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | ClevieWonder | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | M1ckW1ck | 62% | 29 |
| #5 | Pavix | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #18 | Puetis | 43% | 7 |
| #19 | Gearslayer360 | 39% | 28 |
| #20 | Bronzey | 38% | 8 |
| #21 | kai | 29% | 7 |
| #22 | ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Princess ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | erock | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Gearslayer360 | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | HuntW1ck | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Princess ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ | 2 | 0.0120 |
| #5 | ClevieWonder | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ckW1ck | 241 | 0.38 | 6 min |
| #2 | Gearslayer360 | 186 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #3 | erock | 80 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pavix | 78 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #5 | HuntW1ck | 62 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gearslayer360 | +1.52 | 62 | 61 |
| #2 | Bronzey | +1.34 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | BananA | +0.79 | 58 | 71 |
| #4 | ClevieWonder | +0.78 | 45 | 55 |
| #5 | erock | +0.34 | 59 | 66 |





