










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1089 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2771 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2106 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1853 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1908 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $273,120 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 281 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LinemanLuke | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | WakefulPlayer | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Antic | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | kai | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | Vergil | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skiffle | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | WakefulPlayer | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Antic | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Lissie Mcguire | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | ∂6 | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiDD_BEAST123 | 100 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #2 | JachPot | 77 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #3 | WakefulPlayer | 66 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | kai | 57 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | LinemanLuke | 53 | 0.19 | 1 min |





