








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,313 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1671 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1533 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1030 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1079 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $638,037 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intricate | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | WakefulPlayer | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | Wilso | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | poopbanana | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | Jalapiñecone | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Gearslayer360 | 47% | 53 |
| #16 | DJ Jazzy Jess | 45% | 11 |
| #17 | M1ckW1ck | 45% | 73 |
| #18 | Spark | 40% | 10 |
| #19 | ClevieWonder | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | erock | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Gearslayer360 | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | M1ckW1ck | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | VikesCatgirl | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | BananA | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ckW1ck | 706 | 0.45 | 14 min |
| #2 | Gearslayer360 | 329 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #3 | erock | 203 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | JachPot | 176 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | 𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝘽𝙪𝙧𝙣 | 103 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilso | +2.60 | 71 | 52 |
| #2 | VikesCatgirl | +1.82 | 71 | 56 |
| #3 | Gearslayer360 | +1.71 | 66 | 55 |
| #4 | poopbanana | +0.79 | 42 | 56 |
| #5 | erock | +0.66 | 66 | 66 |





