








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3578 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4216 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3794 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3205 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,658 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ClevieWonder | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | MUSquirel | 64% | 36 |
| #3 | 𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝘽𝙪𝙧𝙣 | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | M1ckW1ck | 61% | 49 |
| #5 | HuntW1ck | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Sinbad | 42% | 33 |
| #13 | Skimix | 40% | 101 |
| #14 | R1K0CH3T | 39% | 33 |
| #15 | Goober -iwnl- | 38% | 78 |
| #16 | matsu | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skimix | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | erock | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Gearslayer360 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | DrollerZebra | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | MUSquirel | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skimix | 494 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #2 | M1ckW1ck | 361 | 0.34 | 8 min |
| #3 | Gearslayer360 | 354 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #4 | Goober -iwnl- | 224 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | erock | 176 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MUSquirel | +2.77 | 68 | 62 |
| #2 | Goober -iwnl- | +1.87 | 67 | 66 |
| #3 | Gearslayer360 | +1.60 | 64 | 60 |
| #4 | HuntW1ck | +0.85 | 50 | 47 |
| #5 | Sinbad | +0.57 | 44 | 56 |





