








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 715 | 23% |
| Smokes | 804 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 928 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 697 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $169,612 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | JariNSeksiHousutPVP | 46% | 28 |
| #8 | tyyb | 46% | 39 |
| #9 | anttva | 43% | 21 |
| #10 | Plasma-Aki | 37% | 30 |
| #11 | jaska mäkilähtö | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jerry offside | 6 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | tyyb | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | BOT Tomi | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | BoB Ross | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Plasma-Aki | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kari häkki | 102 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | tyyb | 94 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | jerry offside | 82 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Plasma-Aki | 63 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | BoB Ross | 61 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Tomi | +1.71 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | anttva | +1.71 | 84 | 68 |
| #3 | ensio pappa | +1.58 | 84 | 56 |
| #4 | jerry offside | +0.08 | 74 | 59 |
| #5 | tyyb | -0.06 | 82 | 53 |





