








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 308 matches | ||
| Faceit | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5589 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,602 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4469 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5652 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4260 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4221 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $999,289 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dj erdogan | 61% | 110 |
| #2 | JariNSeksiHousutPVP | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | BOT Tomi | 54% | 250 |
| #4 | BoB Ross | 54% | 278 |
| #5 | kari häkki | 52% | 296 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BoB Ross | 54% | 278 |
| #5 | kari häkki | 52% | 296 |
| #6 | Plasma-Aki | 51% | 111 |
| #7 | ensio pappa | 46% | 39 |
| #8 | anttva | 44% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoB Ross | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Plasma-Aki | 11 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | BOT Tomi | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | kari häkki | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | ensio pappa | 4 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kari häkki | 514 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #2 | BoB Ross | 426 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | BOT Tomi | 357 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | Plasma-Aki | 244 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | dj erdogan | 226 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ensio pappa | +1.57 | 81 | 53 |
| #2 | BOT Tomi | +1.22 | 76 | 63 |
| #3 | JariNSeksiHousutPVP | +1.12 | 63 | 61 |
| #4 | tyyb | +0.91 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | dj erdogan | +0.86 | 77 | 56 |





