








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1651 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1136 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1330 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1068 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 954 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $292,865 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dj erdogan | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | BOT Tomi | 63% | 32 |
| #3 | tyyb | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | jaska mäkilähtö | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | ensio pappa | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | kari häkki | 44% | 48 |
| #8 | Ake | 38% | 8 |
| #9 | JariNSeksiHousutPVP | 37% | 27 |
| #10 | Plasma-Aki | 34% | 29 |
| #11 | anttva | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoB Ross | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | BOT Tomi | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | ensio pappa | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | JariNSeksiHousutPVP | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | anttva | 3 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kari häkki | 98 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | tyyb | 72 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | BoB Ross | 71 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Plasma-Aki | 57 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | BOT Tomi | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dj erdogan | +2.86 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | BOT Tomi | +2.63 | 84 | 60 |
| #3 | tyyb | +2.14 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | anttva | +1.51 | 84 | 71 |
| #5 | jerry offside | +0.88 | 78 | 60 |





